Father figure
30 August, 2012
Father figure

When you were little, did you spend time with you father or your mother? I must admit when I was growing up, it was the norm for fathers to work and mother look after children and also work. Homework was looked over by mothers, problems were told to mothers, food was cooked by mothers, school clothes were bought by mothers, punishments were dolled out mostly by mothers. 

My friend’s father once almost fell off a chair when his daughter turned to

him and asked where he had been for ten years of her life. She simply didn’t remember him as a child, he was always at work, or out with friends, or with co-workers. In my childhood, fathers existed somewhere in the peripheral vision. If I asked my father a homework question, he would redirect me to my mother, using the whole - Your mother is smarter than me. Excuse me. With my friends it was the same, they never mentioned their dads except for to brag about their jobs. We liked to say, my dad is an architect, my dad is a doctor, my dad is a soldier in Afghanistan and so on. As kids we also never questioned the emotional absence of our fathers from our daily lives, it was just the norm. That is why family vacations were extra special, when fathers were able to get away from work and be present with the family. Going to Gagra in the summer meant the world to me and my sister, because it meant for a little while at least the whole family would be relaxed and free from mundane social roles. Also it meant hours of playing a card game, Joker, and listening in on grown up conversations between our parents and their equally grown friends. It was in the summers when we would catch a glimpse of the mysterious figure that was our father the doctor. The more time we spent together, going swimming, driving up to Pitsunda, playing tennis and generally hanging out, the more I learned of what kind of person my father was. My sister was too little to care, her interests lay with learning how to look cool while spitting out watermelon seeds. (Side note, she was the only person in the world who was sad to see the seedless watermelons come into fashion).

My father, like most fathers in the Soviet Union was a working father who after work, still had to do work stuff, and being a surgeon he wasn’t available for his children as much as he was available for his patients. But my father was always in the background. He might not have been cheering at my tennis matches, but he drove me there and picked me up and sometimes even asked me about them. Well, it was a different time, things have changed.

In Tbilisi, more and more fathers are taking an active role in parenting their kids, not just acing as chauffeurs, but actually interacting with them. It is still strange to see a man holding a baby while his wife is talking to her friends or running an errand, but surprised reaction is not unique to Georgia. In the States people still smile when they see a man walking like a kangaroo with a baby hanging on his chest pouch. When a woman does the same it’s like they don’t see her, because it is expected to be this way. I hope that being a family will soon mean that children will get to benefit from having engaged and loving parents, and not what it has meant before, which was- father: hunt and gather, mother cook and clean. This isn’t to say that single parents can’t do or don’t do a great and even better job then some two-parent families. What it means is that no matter how many people are in the family parental unit, they all need to act and feel like actual parents. I’m getting to know my father more and more as I grow older, but I do hope my kids start to get to know their dad before they hit middle age.

Print
Other Stories
The two sides of Georgia
On my first few days in Tbilisi, I stumbled across these two contrasting slogans. One is a testimony of open-mindedness and tolerance,
Mentally Ill or Not?
“The brain is wider than the sky.” Emily Dickinson.
Shall We Dance?
“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” Friedrich Nietzsche.
Are We the Same or Just Getting Better?
Georgian-born Mancho Busse has been working in hospitality business for many years by now. Her husband, Robin Busse, works for the State Department of The United States,
Eco-Friendly Habits: How to Clean Your Off-Roading Vehicle Responsibly
Irresponsible waste disposal practices continue to have drastic effects on the environment.
 5 Techniques for Finding Your Inner Creativity
Whether you’re a writer, artist, or even a marketing executive, you’ve probably had days where you felt completely uninspired.
A suitcase full of wine and a heart full of memories
I left Switzerland and arrived in Tbilisi on December 28.
Five Reasons to Visit Georgia in 2017
If you've been searching for a unique place to vacation in 2017, the beautiful country of Georgia holds some hidden treasures.
PROMISING FUTURE OF COLLABORATION
“All roads lead to Rome” – states one of the most famous medieval proverbs. It’s fascinating to think how much the narrow streets and glorious walls of this eternal city have seen.
It’s Not So Bad, Chaps- Just Look at the Yanks: Ogden on Comparable Politics
Electoral fever is dying down in Georgia as it ramps up in the United States.
 “Moral Inversion” - Pre-election period in Georgia
Georgian pre-election period can be classified as “Moral Inversion”, a notion first put forward by Michael Polanyi.
America’s Trump Card
Like it or not, the name of the 45th American President will most likely be Donald Trump.
Clock is not counting down, it is adding up!
On Saturday for the ceremony in Charleston, instead of wedding gifts, the Managing Editor of Georgian Journal, Will Cathcart
A Protectionist Perspective: Ensuring A Georgian Future
Unlike many of my compatriots, I view my country as a sentient creature, a single organism. The mountains
Back in BSSR
"I remember that when I was a schoolgirl, they told us we have to be ready to give our lives for the motherland.
Thank you, father, for saving me from USSR!
On the 11th of October, the population of Belarus has elected Alexander Lukashenko to serve his fifth term
The EU Getting Squeezed in Georgia
Recent polls have shown that the EU is less and less popular in Georgia. The reason is that they
What is Georgia’s Military For?
There are two possible uses for Georgia’s military. The first would be to fight a war with an external threat or by its existence, to deter
Protohack
Last weekend I went to a hackathon in San Francisco called Protohack. In the former Soviet Union, people tend to think of hacking
European Migrant Crisis: The good, the bad and the liar
“I call an animal, a species, an individual corrupt, when it loses its instincts, when it prefers what is injurious
Refugees in Georgia
The people of Syria see the Assad regime weakening, and considering who may take over and what they might
David and Goliath: A Realpolitik Rendition
A Conservative Contrarian View on Georgia’s Geopolitical Dilemma
The Bleeding of Rustavi 2 - Our New August Surprise
When the powerful have to make something happen that they want few people to notice, they issue the statement late in the afternoon
The Good Neighbor
In 2012, Georgia was promised to witness what ex-Prime Minister Ivanishvili called “a new age.” It would be achieved by “restarting”
Independence, Institutions and Corruption
People talk about Georgia choosing between Russia and the West as if Georgia ended up at a soccer game and, well, since we’re here we may
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Exchange Rates
GEL Exchange Rate
Convertor
21.09.2018
22.09.2018
USD
1
USD
2.6193
2.6216
EUR
1
EUR
3.0693
3.0854
GBP
1
GBP
3.4651
3.4584
RUB
100
RUB
3.9538
3.9340
Other Stories
GEL Exchange
USD
1
USD
2.6216
EUR
1
EUR
3.0854
GBP
1
GBP
3.4584
RUB
100
RUB
3.9340