Letter To Santa
23 December, 2010
Letter To Santa

Mancho  Ekliani

Dear Santa Claus,
I am writing to you from Los Angeles, CA. As you know there is never any snow here and the feeling of Christmas is pretty much non-existent. Oh, sure there is a giant Christmas tree that looks like it just threw up on itself at the Grove, but it’s no New York.
I went looking for a Christmas tree, but they don’t grow in Los Angeles, and apparently it is illegal to chop down trees anyway.

I would have bought a small plastic one but have you seen the prices lately?
I am not asking for an Abu Dhabi bejeweled tree or anything (who in his right mind puts diamonds on a tree in a mall?). Rather something simple I can hang my ornaments on. My friends from around the globe, and I am not joking when I say that, have sent me ornaments for Christmas. What am I supposed to do now? Decorate myself with them?
In any case, I live alone. Well, not quite alone; there is a cat that lives here with me from time to time. Name’s Hitler. He has a creepy Hitler-like moustache growing, and the previous owner thought it was a hilarious name. I can’t bring myself to call him that, not in my neighborhood. So, I try calling him Midnight, but he only responds to Hitler. Thankfully he doesn’t behave like Hitler. He is friendly with all the rodents in the garden.
Anyway, I am writing to you because this year, I have a boy who is a good friend (just a friend) and I would like to celebrate Christmas with him. But I have no tree. What kind of Christmas celebration will that be? I got him a gift, a book he has been looking for. By the way, Amazon.com is a great substitute for you Santa, but it is still not you. I don’t know what he got for me, but I suspect it is not a Christmas tree. So I need your help. I need a tree. Even a plastic one will do. As long as I don’t have to resort to decorating a palm tree in the middle of my living room I will be happy.
Don’t despair. You have plenty of time. My friend and I are Georgian Orthodox and we celebrate Christmas by the Old calendar so you have a few weeks. My coworkers (can you also do something about one of them, you know which one, and transfer her out of state or something) and my other friends are celebrating on the 24th like everyone else, but I don’t mind. I can wait.
Besides, I don’t feel like I have missed out on anything yet. My neighborhood isn’t exactly littered with Christmas trees. There are a lot of menorahs around, and I have been to three Hanukkah parties already. I made khachapuri (that’s a Georgian style cheese-bread) as gifts and they were quite successful, if I say so myself.
So, dear Santa, I can wait for Christmas. I have been very good this year. I haven’t killed my coworkers and I haven’t cheated on my taxes, so I know you won’t forget me.
Thanks for everything,
Mancho Ekliani
(I am a young woman from Georgia, now living in LA, California)

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