Doomsday scenario
03 February, 2011
Doomsday scenario

If you want to survive the coming Armageddon as predicted by Ancient Mayans to happen on December 2012, you must migrate to Bugarach, France. I knew my four years of high school French would come in handy one day. Bugarach, a French farming village supposedly located on a ‘sacred mountain’ Pic de Bugarach, is thought to be the best place to get rescued by the aliens, while the rest of humanity goes up in smoke.
This is what some Mayan

followers believe. And the rest of us, nonbelievers will be out of luck. Assuming that the world will come to an end, and only the French little village, population 189, will be the place to be if you want to survive- just how many people would be able to get in?
The mayor of the village, Jean-Pierre Delord, is serous about this concern, he doesn’t want thousands of people descending on the small quiet village come December 2012. He has actually asked for the army to protect his village form hordes of New Age fanatics and UFO watchers. So according to ancient Mayans the world will either seize to exist or worse, will have to be repopulated by aliens and French nationals. Why you shouldn’t believe the Mayan theory of Armageddon. First, ancient Mayan religion practiced human sacrifice. In a ritual a priest would cut the person’s chest open and tear out the heart. Not the most rational way to predict the weather. Second, if Mayans were so good at predicting future, how come they didn’t see the Spanish coming? And last but not least, Mayans themselves don’t believe in 2012 doomsday, so why should you? Let’s say just for fun, that the doomsday’s really next year, and you believe this wholeheartedly. What would you do? Waste time on finding a salvation in a small French village or live up 2011 like it’s no ones business? I am not as imaginative as others, so when the question was posed to me I could only think of one thing, Bugatti Veyron 16.4. I’d steal the car, because no credit card of mine would be able to front me that kind of money. I’d drive it everywhere, probably getting speeding tickets in the mail - but I wouldn’t really care, because come Armageddon, no one will care about unpaid traffic tickets. My friend Mancho, has better ideas about how to spend last year on earth. After parting it up in Spain and Italy, where they do party all night long (she has come a long way from a shy Georgian who wouldn’t even go out after eight in the evening) and then head on to Greece and see Acropolis for the last time. After that, drunk on wine and high on impending doom, she would steal a tank and ride up to Sokhumi and demand to see her house, or what’s left of it for the last time. She would meet with me (this is her plan, not mine) in France, because that’s the only place my stolen Bugatti can have its tires changed. We would head to Germany for more partying because they party for days there. Of coarse it would be helpful if the rest of the world didn’t believe in Doomsday as well, because not everyone is satisfied with partying or car theft. It would be utter chaos if others thought Armageddon was coming. I wonder if all this Armageddon talk was the reason for President Obama’s rather depressing Sate of the Union Address. It wasn’t about America being great, or number one, or even a superpower, but rather about how well the Chinese are doing, and about South Koreans who have better technology than the US. Of coarse it’s easy to let the enemy win when you know it’s all pointless and we shall all be ash soon enough. But President Obama has not waved the white flag just yet. In his speech he said more than once that we had to “win the future”. Does that mean we will be invading Bugarach soon? In that case, I should be brushing up on my French and Alien language skills. Does Rosetta Stone have Alien speak in its arsenal? Laugh if you want - Mancho is laughing with you.

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