Are We the Same or Just Getting Better?
12 June, 2017
Georgian-born Mancho Busse has been working in hospitality business for many years by now. Her husband, Robin Busse, works for the State Department of The United States, serving his country in US Embassy of various countries.

“We always lead different, but at the same time amazing lifestyle, being able to live and work in diverse cultures and environments. So many radical, but fortunate changes of my life had an impact on me somehow, deciding to hit
the Psychology field, and explore the human mind. I was playing with the idea for many years until my dream came true. I just graduated in General Psychology from AIU, Atlantic International University, in the States. My willingness to move on and personal attachment to Psychology became so strong that I immediately applied for the master degree in Clinical Psychology. This is what I am doing at this moment, going deeper in human mind, and receiving inexplicable pleasure to deal with.”

Here is her blog which she shared with Georgian Journal’s reader:

"The age of a woman doesn’t mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Woman is the most blessed creature of nature. True, there are female biological cycles among the lifespan, but each phase is uniquely singular. I almost hear female voices belling the ring…how the knocking the middle age door can be special? How physical and emotional changes can be welcoming? If using the medical description, facing the middle life is the period of hormonal changes when a woman experiences unexpected warm feelings, hot flashes, poor sleep, hair loss, skin flaccidity, sudden weight gain, irregular menstrual cycles, mood swing, and to make it short…loss of estrogen, one of the most significant female hormones sometimes called a “vital messenger”. Is it too frightening to digest what you just heard? Let’s use the plain, our language then.

We feel like our happiness is somehow fading away, we prefer to stay at home posting “life or love quotes” on our social media, we blame seasonal changes to justify our inner distress, we take subscribed or under counter antidepressants in hope that “high spirits” will come back, we lie to our friends about our hidden symptoms, we come up with the busy agenda to explain constant fatigue, we seek for the best plastic doctor to have the face lift or Botox done, we prefer not to have the hormonal tests done… we are too afraid to put in words that YES, we are not the same and biological clock is ticking.

“Our mothers were largely silent about what happened to them as they passed through this midlife change. But a new generation of women has already started to break the wall of silence.” Patricia Posner.

Why don’t we break the silence then? We are still the same, with exclusive femininity and inner power, every month still has four weeks, sun is still raising every day, Christmas is still once a year, we still have enormous ability to love or to be loved; should we allow “low estrogen” to take away the life happiness from us? Agreed, it is too easy to hear attractive words when face wrinkles are getting more visible every day, but life goes on, and with us in it, so, it is our time to start over by transforming the quality of our lives.

• Always wanted to take Tango lessons but never managed it so far? Go for it, and ignore what your neighbors will say.

• Go for a walk every day, breathe oxygen, choose other neighborhood, not yours, this way, you don’t have to say “Hi” every five minutes talking about how unhappy you fell lately, or lying to them how “incredibly” you feel lately.

• Feel like going to the night club and dance it out among young people? Do it, you are in charge of your decisions.

• Cannot enjoy coffee like used to? Have less, or drink decaffeinated, no one has to know or judge.

• Feel specifically heavy when eating like used to? Then listen to your body and modify your menu; healthful eating habits are the best thing you can do for yourself.

• Are not fitting in leggings anymore? Even better…your curves are becoming more feminine and desirable.

Feels like your family members or closest friends cannot understand your internal torture? Find professional, don’t be ashamed of your condition, be honest, break the wall, and get professional help you need so desperately; hear it out loud that your current life cycle is called the menopause, and it is the natural biological condition that every single female goes through; remember, that “Beauty begins when you start accepting yourself.” Coco Chanel.

No, you are not the same, but you are still Eva, and just getting better.

By Mancho Busse

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