Anything for citizenship – even sex!
15 December, 2011
Anything for citizenship – even sex!

We certainly had some clew – nothing was terribly unexpected. The overwhelming sense of premonition was definitely present, but when you are not sure of what is going to happen, you feel happier because the hope is still there for something good to occur – miracles happen, you keep telling yourself, who knows, things might have a funny twist around. But miracle, my ass! In the entire Russian history only one miracle had happened. Period! And that was a two-meter-long piece

of a genius, named Peter the Great. Nothing better than that has ever happened to Russia since or before then.

I am so painfully frustrated! I am even depressed. I know for sure that today ten to fifteen million rather commonsensical Russian citizens will Google for emigration. Me too! And that seems to be the gloomiest part of our current history. And those people are not just rats abandoning the sinking ship. Those fifteen million people are very adequate, passionately charged men and women of action who would love to do something meaningful in life, as the Famous Russian journalist Julia Latinina would have put it. Yes, they would love to, but they cannot because change is practically impossible to bring about. They simply have no idea how to change anything. And this is quite commonplace in Russia. It is just the authorities who are endowed with the right to introduce change. Members of the ‘Narodnaya Volya (People’s Freedom), desiring to change the Tsarist regime, assassinated Emperor Alexander II of Russia in 1881. But having done this, they did even worse to themselves and their most beloved Russian People. After 50 years, millions of commonsensical Soviet citizens were crashed only because they had desired some change in the Soviet country, and dared to voice their thoughts too loudly.

And some funny questions are popping up as I am writing these words: what political party must I join, or which square of the city I need to appear at in protest, and who should I follow in order to have the country move from the nerve-wrecking dead point!?

I like the Prokhorov guy. He is a very specific dude. It is clear as a day that he is not an angel, he is just a kid of nineties, but very pragmatically-minded (in the best possible meaning of the word), and certainly a man of his word which he must have gotten from his business career. But the alarm was false-sounded . . .

After the entire mess which was created as a result of his losing the job, he described the fact in his blog: ‘I have understood a lot in the last few days. Regardless my business activity in the last twenty years, strange as it may sound, I was still nourishing myself with certain illusions. Yesterday, I was rendered free of those illusions. And this is good! I understood finally that one should learn a lot if one wants to achieve success in politics. Part of that knowledge would be an ability to say no to yourself and a skill to easily refuse from delivering on made promises. But the problem is that I am not sure I want to acquire this kind of skills’.

Yes dude, in our country the illusions will stay in place until you make an attempt to be free and rich and happy  . . .

It seems like Shenderovich has once said about the selfsame Prokhorov that he is the same kind of a slave – rich, but slave. .  .

Why does this reasoning make sense at all? Where am I taking all those thoughts of mine? Just imagine another six years with Volodya! Having him around for a new term will definitely translate into the following:

- Law would remain to be described with the F word

- Roads, houses, factories, ships – their keeping time will become critical

- Working to the benefit of Mother Russia would either be impossible or detrimental to the country

- Apartments will cost five times more than their actual price, and mortgages on those apartments will be ten times their genuine value.

- Even smaller number of commonsensical people will stay to live in Russia. The number of rank-and-file will grow along with vodka and bear sales.

- Lies at every corner will become rampant! It was disgusting to hear the other day that WWII veterans would be provided with decent living space. My grandpa for example did not live long enough to see that happen...

- And most importantly, the stench of mustiness! ‘There is the Russian soul out there! There goes the fragrance of Russia!’ And do you know what kind of fragrance this is? It cannot be quenched by all the perfumes of France taken together.

I think this list could be augmented by anybody who would volunteer to further meditate about Putin’s Russia.

I certainly hate to be an outright pessimist. Therefore, I would love to mention herewith that Olga Romanova’s husband was finally set free. He was sent to prison by a regular civil servant as a consequence of revenge. A typically trivial case! This made me feel real good. I am very happy for Olga – she has achieved her goal, breaking through a strong wall of the cruel regime. I am so proud that she had once taught me a course of business journalism at college. Olga Romanova is an extraordinary woman. She threw gauntlet to a cumbersome, disoriented and inane system. On the other hand, I hate to be a revolting squirt. Nobody in our country is safe from this kind of crap. Just nobody! Anything (house, business, and freedom) could be snatched away from anybody at any given moment. Folks, this is scary!  I personally have an animal feeling of fright inside me. It seems the Gulag Archipelago is not a book just on the Russian history. . . It is far more than that. By the way, I forgot to make a comment on a person’s value. As for me, I am ready to do anything for another country’s citizenship, even if I need to have sex with somebody helpful, say a regular Chinese guy.

NBR Note:

The article was instigated by the announcement of Putin’s comeback as president of Russia. The possibility of his new term worries the patient Russian people, especially the intellectuals of the misconceived country. As this author would have put it, the commonsensical part of the Russian society is on guard against the danger. Let’s wish them well!

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