Wedding Horns
05 July, 2012
Wedding Horns

I am one of the diehard proponents of baby-booming in Georgia because it is my strong conviction that Georgia and its unique spiritual heredity have a chance to survive only in case the Georgian people continue to exist. I am strongly for heterosexual relations, being utterly allergic to any other class of physical bonding between the sexes – let the otherwise thinkers magnanimously forgive my single-mindedness concerning this particular issue.
I am for engagements and weddings and for baptismal celebrations

all the way. I love watching the young people getting married, dressed in their glamorous nuptial garments. I adore watching them demurely kissing each other publicly. Nothing encourages me more than the marriage houses packed full with wedding guests. And not only I crave for socializing among the visitors but I adore serving the ceremony as a Tamada – the toast master. You see, I love all that is conducive to creating a family and eventually making as many Georgian (excuse my nationalism!) kids as possible. There is only one little thing that I hate among our ceremonial and ritualistic efforts, and that is a prolonged hysterical horning and reckless driving of the wedding cortege cars in the streets during those weddings. Horning is so stupid! And crazy driving is so dangerous! Why do we have to be outrageous horning edicts and out-of-control wild drivers when it comes to weddings? What is it – an attempt to let the emotion-based exhaust out? Is it a signal to make the world alert about our friends doing it finally as soon as the night is ripe? Or is it an incidentally acquired freedom to break every possible traffic rule in town? A big city with its usual clatter and rattle is tiresome without additional horning being heard around. Just imagine about twenty cars horning together and swishing by like house is afire when you are walking in the street, exhausted by the day’s drudgery, sultry summer weather and nervous thoughts about tomorrow. Yes, the wedding horns will wake you up from momentary meditation about your own life, but they might as well leave you crippled for the rest of your life if you accidentally find yourself within the threatening propinquity of the wedding motorcade. Lucky were those who witnessed the weddings in the streets in times of cavalcades – horses would only neigh and pass by peacefully, and even make a nice picture to watch. Listening to wedding horns in today’s streets means a consequential nervous breakdown, a guaranteed deafening, and surely anticipated conflict at home. Why are we allowed to disturb public with our personal matters no matter how important they seem to us? Why do we think that weddings are licenses for bringing down somebody else’s sanctuary of tranquil living? Why should our private protocol interfere with our public life with impunity? Who said that the wedding parties are allowed to deafen the town with crazed horning and subject our lives to danger as a result of fanatical driving right in the middle of the city where the traffic is the heaviest? What about myriad other forms of having fun in weddings! Why can’t we have mercy on our fellow citizens who are not interested whether you are getting married or divorced? Could we keep our hilariously confusing emotionality to ourselves so that the public is held secure and happy? Let’s try, can we?

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