Congeniality vs. Confrontationality
12 April, 2012
Congeniality vs. Confrontationality

Congeniality and confrontationality are probably equally natural features of a human character in general. And the former must be more readily acceptable in a civil society than the latter. Congeniality is a benevolent builder of relationships, a constructive adhesive, helper, soother and balancer.  Conversely, confrontationality is a killer, destroyer and terminator of friendships and love. Both features, I would say, are firmly set in our Georgian temperament. And if this is true, why then the Georgians (yes, I mean us) are

prevalently giving bigger chance to confrontationality than to congeniality in person-to-person (and not only) relations? Some of us might think and say that this is an overstatement, but to me it sounds fair enough to let it sound.  I abhor overstatements! Have you ever watched the expression of the face of a Georgian man or a woman at the moment when they are trying to defy an utterance, emanating from another party involved in the conversation? Or pitch of their voice, accompanying the statement?  In 75 out of 100 cases, the reaction to somebody else’s loudly expressed thought is embellished with intensely goggled eyes, with bursting veins along and across the neck, with foam on the angry mouth and with resolutely configured hands akimbo. What is this kind of a posture called if not confrontational? An outright objection, often without a good reason, is the first reaction to any voiced thought or utterance in a regular dialogue in our culture. Technically, this could only be qualified as an inherent desire and readiness of a typical Georgian collocutor to defy the opinion of a counterpart sooner than it is expressed, not even making an attempt to first digest its content and then to object if necessary. Mixture of objection and indignation, as a usual form of reaction is unavoidable. This is a commonplace manner – an abrupt and categorical objection, accompanied by those classic gestures, as stipulated above. Is confrontationality part of our nature? I hate to admit that it definitely is. Could it somehow be substituted by congeniality? The answer is yes, provided we all manage to look at each other from the outside with a very keen and sensitive eye. After having noticed and conceived what we look like in our confrontational poses, we might really want to trade it for overwhelming congeniality. Being aggressive is a big-time loser. Offensiveness does not pay. A peppery manner hurts. An irascible character keeps us from bringing the points in we need to earn so much. Hot temper like ours sounds OK at times and could be forgiven if it is not generating too much damage and harm, but is awfully difficult to check when it is absolutely crucial to check. Killing confrontationality and adopting congeniality as our way of life and a model of behavior might truly give us a chance to enhance the quality of our existence. Life will immediately become much easier in case of a successful fruition of the project. And the political arena in the country could be cleansed too from unwanted impurities and malcontent, so deleteriously getting in our way to make healthy conclusions and even healthier decisions thereupon. And this is so easy to do!

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