Elected incompetence: The TOP TEN dumbest things Georgian politicians have said
30 July, 2015
Elected incompetence: The TOP TEN dumbest things Georgian politicians have said
Some time ago I took upon myself a rather laborious task: To make a list of Georgian politicians’ top ten most inspiring tations. I thought I was morally and physically ready to work in this direction but I was deeply mistaken. Who cares about the top ten quotations? When I couldn’t manage to collect the top five, like the majority of Georgian politicians, I simplified my job. It only took me a couple
of ‘pleasant’ hours to make a list of their weird declarations:

I. This is, like, uncontested: Some days ago Soso Jachvliani, a Majoritarian MP of the Gldani region managed became a laughing stock for the whole country, some of his political comrades included. Check out his jaw-dropping speech during a Parliament session: “Several months ago Eka Kherkheulidze (an MP) said that the Parliament session was undermined because Soso Jacvliani was gone to EBRD (the abbreviation rhymes with the Russian word, equivalent of the English f – k). Why do you offend me? I would never go to EBRD because I’m a faithfull husband…” Later, Jachvliani made same equally confusing assesments while elaborating on what he meant earlier. In a hilarious interview with www.ambebi.ge, his further insights on the matter were just as shocking and embarrassing.”You know what ebi means in Russian, don’t you? - he asked the startled correspondent – so if you think about it, EBRD means fuck hard, fuck nord”. God Bless Georgia. 

II. Alexander Chikaidze, Ex-Minister of Interior Affairs, currently Deputy Secretary of State Security and Crisis Management often made himself remembered with the help of strange expressions, especially his now notoriously famous line: “Financing of this person, of this Taliban was carried out with the help of these funds.” And who can forget the phrase: “The crime is in perfect shape.” It sure is reassuring for us simple folk that this man will now be in charge of state security.

III. People will probably cherish and remember Many of ex-PM Ivanishvili’s quotes, and this one really stands out - the terribly reassuring “We promise you to hold the elections with the same equanimity as the spring introduced itself in the country.”

IV. Levan Berdzenishvili, leader of the Republican Party and member of Parliamentarian Majority, didn’t lag far behind his colleagues – in what seems to be a race to drive Georgian political discourse beyond idiocy – with his line, “The authorities brought out masked Tommy guns.”

V. Labor Party leader Shalva Natelashvili interpreted Shakespeare’s words “To be or not to be” as “To be, to be.” He also offered us an amusing phrase: “We’ve been waiting for Bush’s visit for already 200 years.” And of course who can forget the mesmeric “Down with dictaitah! [his pronounciation of the word dictator]”

VI. Former Interior Minister Vano Merabishvili was also singled out for his interesting phrases: “The interrogation on the spot is carried out by our specialists, namely – the dogs.” He also once said, “The culprits are in a difficult situation because we rendered them assistance.” Considering Vano’s method’s this last line may not have been a mistake – he may have really been telling the truth. But to be fair, the imprisoned former Prime Minister did suffer from an actual speech impediment, whereas others on this list likely had and still have impediments in other areas of the head – such as the cerebral cortex.

VII. Bakur Kvezereli, the ex-Agriculture Minister once declared, “We’ll bring to Georgia female and male cows.” The following expression also belongs to him: “The stock of corn is transitive.”

VIII. To this day the entire na­ti­on is attempting to decip­her the declaration of Zviad Dzidziguri, Conservative Party leader: “With regard to the person a constant threat is expressed that either the husband or the spouse will be arrested.”

IX. Mikheil Kareli, former go­ve­rnor of the Kvemo Kartli re­gion made himself remembered by his impeccable Russian: “Russian language is not my mama language.” Or his “Custom-clear, please,” line. Now the translation here fails with this one due to the absence of corresponding Russian and Georgian structural elements in English. But trust us, it sounds pretty stupid.

X. It would be extremely shortsighted to claim that only members of the new government are saying silly things. Perhaps the phrase that takes the cake was uttered by the former Georgian President after several border security police held up and searched a group of Spanish tourists. A very angry Mikheil Saakashvili publicly asked the prime minister if this would happen in any other European country. Saakashvili then inquired rhetorically on live television, “Are we zangis? Then why are we behaving like savages?” Unfortunately, the world “zangi” is a racially offensive term used to negatively denote black people, particularly of African origin. And this was less than a year after Barack Obama had been elected president of Georgia’s number one ally. Ouch.

Author: Rusudan Shelia

Related stories:

"EBRD means F**k Hard" - PM Jachvliani offers further insights on what EBRD means

I never go to EBRD because I am a faithful husband - MP Soso Jachvliani
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