When saying ‘no’ is not enough
25 July, 2013
When saying ‘no’ is not enough
Recently I have been writing about the behavior of women towards the members of the same sex and the strangely competitive nature of these relationships.
In the wake of recent events and the attention they have gotten in the press, I thought I should refocus on the treatment of men towards women. Again, as I have also said in the articles dealing with women mistreating each other, this is a generalization. 
I was walking in Chelsea with a good friend,
when a beautiful woman walked by us and my friend, who is European, very obviously checked out the passing woman.  When he turned back and saw me roll my eyes, he smiled shrugged his shoulders and said that it was just human nature, a man will always look at beautiful women.  He went on, with my prodding of course, to say that it is in the man’s nature to try everything he can to sleep with a woman who attracts him, even if she is taken.  Unless she makes it perfectly clear that she is not interested, and he assured me he can tell by the body language if someone is interested or not. So, I wondered where do you draw a line? Because from the way he was thinking women really had no choice in the matter, but to be objectified and man handled by any man who fancied a lay. But no, not at all he said, if the woman is not interested, then of course, I shall not do anything about it. There are laws for that, he added. And here we come to a good point, and please remember I am in no way lumping all men into this category, I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by men who were raised as human beings and not animals, but not many women are as lucky as I am.  So this is about the men who think of women as objects and treat them that way. From forced prostitution, to rape condoned by the society - all of these crimes are done by men who think that women are not human beings. They have no reverence for their lives or their well being, but think of them as slaves, as objects to use.
Sex traffickers rely on the idea that a man will try anything to sleep with a woman. He will pay for it and not ask where or how it happened to be.  There’s a big difference between Red Light District in Amsterdam where prostitution is legal and women work for themselves, and the kidnapped students and young girls who are trafficked and made to prostitute against their will. Although I highly doubt that any young girl dreams of one day being a hooker, there is a difference between someone doing it voluntarily, in Amsterdam this is a profession, meaning the money they make is theirs, and someone who has been drugged or forced otherwise into working for others.
So why is sex trafficking such a growing business? Living in US, where the attitudes of men seem to be slightly more evolved, an American for example would not have been quite as obvious as my European friend, it is frightening to find out that Atlanta, GA is number one trafficking airport in the country. After one lecture of how to spot trafficked women, I can’t keep my eyes from scrutinizing every young foreign national walking awkwardly behind a man. In the lecture we were told that trafficked girls will not be able to walk on their own, there will me a men or woman with them, holding their passports so they can’t escape. The girls don’t speak the language and are scared that they will be hurt if they say anything to the authorities, so they meekly walk behind the trafficker and say nothing. I once saw a few women walking behind a man holding all their passports in Istanbul airport, but they were not trafficked, at least not in the same sense. They were the many wives of the man and they were from Dubai, the same city where a Norwegian woman who was jailed for having reported a rape, made headline news a few days ago. After the pressure on the Dubai legal system, her sentence was suspended and she was released. So was her attacker, by the way. But the fact that she was fighting not to have him be held accountable for forcing her and raping her, but for her own freedom, is the most disturbing part. The policemen, who asked her if she cried rape because she didn’t like it, seem to exemplify the attitudes of men who don’t believe that rape is a forced act, because their laws don’t reflect that. One can turn blue in the face trying to explain that hurting someone is not good, or one can show them how it feels with their own body subjected to rape, which seems counterproductive, or one can institute serious laws against it and adhere to these laws.  The mentality that a man cannot control his lust and therefore a woman must endure the attack is simply mental. And yet, reading the comments left on the news report about this, who is it that seems to blame the victim for her ‘improper behavior’ in the face of overwhelming evidence of rape? Women.  Yes, women bloggers seemed to be the ones who found her at fault for having come to a country without respecting its rules- apparently rule one is if you get raped, take it. And it was women bloggers who ridiculed her outfit, even though no one has seen or read about what she was wearing. In their words, she got raped, so she must have done something to warrant it.  Sounds despicable and medieval to me. Which warrant a question, if women don’t respect each other, how can anyone else?
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